Jon and Kate plus the Divorce Rate

Today I am very sad. I am sad because my favorite t.v. family seems to be falling apart.

I've watched Jon and Kate Plus 8 long before it was main stream popular. I have this weird obsession with multiples and so Discovery Health was my channel back in the day ( i.e. three years ago). Ask my former roommates, I used to make them watch it with me as I obsessed over how cute those kids were and how I wanted to have multiples just to prove I could do it.

I recognize that it's stupid to feel so sad over a family I don't know and a situation I don't fully understand. But I do feel sad and so I gotta get it out.

Jon and Kate, I don't know you but on the outside chance you have somehow discovered my brilliant blog in an effort for comic relief, I'm praying for you.

prayer requests

At King's it is encouraged that all first block teachers do devotions first thing in the morning. After calming the monkeys down, I start class with a corny devotional from a "Devotions for Teens" book, followed by a scripture reading and then the highlight: prayer requests. Every time we do prayer requests, I am reminded that scripture tells us that we are to love God and trust God like a child does. Beyond the reminder of a simplistic faith, I love prayer request time for several additional reasons.

Reason number 1: Somehow prayer requests always become thematic. If one person prays for someone with cancer, then everyone else suddenly is reminded that they know someone with cancer and that's their prayer request.

Reason number 2: Prayer requests are often braggadocios. One student last year somehow managed to pat themselves on the back every single day by giving a "prayer request." For example, the following prayer request was given by that student "um, well i found out that I am going to be featured in a book because i'm such a good student, so i just hope that um, that goes well."

Reason number 3: Prayer requests often having nothing to do with praying and is just an opportunity for a student to tell a story. Today was the perfect example. Student E (his name has been changed to protect his secret identity) raises his hand and thus goes the conversation:

Student E: "well every night my dog jumps into my bed and so there's lots of dog hair in it."
Mrs. H: "Ok, and how would you like us to pray for that?"
Student E: "um well you know, I can't really wash the sheets so there's lots of hair in my bed."
Mrs. H: "ok and again, how can we turn that into a prayer request?"
Student E: "um I would like to pray that there is less dog hair in my bed."
Mrs. H: "alright, we'll pray that your dog gets out of the habit of sleeping with you."

It is moments like these that are precious and also try my patience.

Creepy Crawlers

Ok so I should qualify that title with the following explanation:

this blog post has absolutely nothing to do with the little fluorescent plastic smelling, oven cooking, fumes probably cancer giving toys of my adolescence. but it does have to do with something that really creeps me out.

In general, it is a good idea for students to look at their teacher. I often find myself saying things like "I want to see your eyes so I know you can hear me" OR "I'm waiting for your attention". 7th graders are not the best about eye contact because...well...they aren't good at a lot of things that require any sort of social interaction. that being said, i'd like to dedicate this post to the two girls who are constantly staring at me.

1st semester, no creepy starers. <---- no idea if that's how you spell it but it looks close enough.

2nd semester, one in each class. 

Like honestly, these girls look at me so intensely for no reason that is creeps me out in a way that only a surprise shower spider creeps me out. and it's not like they are looking at me because I am talking to them and they are intently paying attention. Nope. They are looking at me during homework time, just staring at me sitting at my desk. They are looking at me as if their or my life somehow depends on it. I have not yet figured out how to respond to my friendly starers so I'm up for suggestions. Usually I just smile at them in the hopes that it makes them stop...usually it doesn't. 

What's particularly frustrating about these two girls is that they are the ones who consistently ask questions I have already answered probably 23 times. I wonder if they are looking at me so intently, trying to read my brain and figure out what the heck they are supposed to be doing. I'd love if that were true because it would save me two repeated sets of instructions each day.

maybe tomorrow i'll just stare right back at them and see how it makes them feel.

things I love about being a track coach

For those countless readers of this fine blog who may not know, I am a track coach at King's Junior High. I was sort of hesitant as the season approached but it has ended up being one of the favorite parts of my day. Why do I love it? Let me explain in a helpful list:

- I get to stand outside the track and yell whatever I want at my 40 sprinters. I have a grab bag of things like "keep those arms moving", "that's not a full sprint", "hustle", etc...

- During away meets, I get to sit at the front of the bus in my own seat while everyone else has to sit with a buddy. Keep in mind, that buddy might be stinky on the way home depending on how hard they worked.

- I get to wear rain boots when it's raining while my students have to wear athletic shoes

- I get called coach. Who wouldn't love this? It implies that I know what I'm doing. Most of the time I'm totally faking.

- I get to spend an extra two hours with 100 7th/8th graders. This is not a bad thing. They get to know me in a context outside of the classroom which provides some evidence that I do exist beyond Geography.

- i never ever have to run if I don't want to. and I don't ever want to.

Do You...

Below are the list of things I have recently been asked by students who seem unable to grasp that I exist outside the classroom:

- do you ever go to the grocery store? - no, i grow all my own food. that's also why we have a pet cow, for steaks.

- do you know the show Friends? - you mean one of the most popular shows of all time? no, i'm not familiar. PIVOT!

- does your husband pick you up after school? - believe it or not, i can drive my own car. and by car i mean huge truck and i practically have to jump into it.

-do you have a best friend? - nope. i live in a cave. 

-do you have a facebook? - yep. and NO you cannot be my friend until after you graduate.

- do you text? - this one is always followed by a shocked/impressed look when I answer yes. 

i must have also thought my teachers were not real people when I was my students age but some of what I get asked is just so funny. 

p.s. yesterday I found out some of the 8th grade boys think i'm "hot." that was my goal in life so I guess I have to pick a new one. 

tangents of the 7th grade mind

Recently we were talking about how in many countries with very dry climates, people store rainwater in barrels in order to have enough water throughout the year. A 7th grade boy (who I probably should not have called on given his track record for stories) raised his hand and said he had a story to tell. I said to him "does your story have to do with conserving water?" and he proudly said"yes!" It should have been a clue of things to come when he started to laugh before the story began. He goes on to tell a story about a time at his lake house when their water main broke. He rambled a bit and then his story ended with the following: "so my dad says, if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down."

not sure exactly how that correlates to rain barrells.

new seats!

the first day of 4th quarter was filled with delight as students saw a new seating chart posted on my classroom door.

and then delight quickly turned to sadness as they noticed that for some reason, none of them were sitting next to their friends.

when do you think they'll figure out that seating charts are the teachers ultimate classroom management tool? when might they understand that in jr high they will NEVER sit by their friends on purpose.

my favorite complaint said to me once after class"eww i don't want to sit by him, he eats his boogers..." yeah well, I bet you won't be talking to him during class then huh?